I believe that, this weekend, I was the official winner of the Stupid and Obviously New Parent Award.

There we are, lying in bed sleeping, minding our own business, when Jeff & I hear Nevin coughing in his sleep...almost sounding like he is gagging, kind of like he is going to throw up. So, we're just lying there, patting him on the back when we hear him do it again...so we opened our eyes. There lies Nevin, with pools of blood on both sides of his head, gagging. WE FREAKED!! I mean, we already knew that he had a sinus infection accompanied by two ear infections, so we were super worried.

Running around frantically in our pajamas, trying to put on enough clothes to venture out into the world, we swoop up Nevin - blood running everywhere - and take him to the emergency room. No carseat, speeding...we were a ticket waiting to happen.

Anyways, halfway to the emergency room, still bleeding, the little boy busts out giggling. We figured he was delirious. He just kept saying "Whee!!". I guess it's cuz it's the first time he's ever ridden in a car without a carseat. So, we get to emergency, and the bleeding stops. The doctor calls us in to have a look at him. The doctor almost giggled.

As it turns out, our son picks his nose in his sleep.

We got home around 6 a.m. and went back to bed.

I cannot believe my incredible luck....

Back in 1996 I met a boy named Kelley. He was hot, so we started dating. He showered me with gifts, spent lots of money taking me fancy places, and wanted to marry me. He also, however, wanted to screw his ex-girlfriend. I found this out when he got her pregnant. That was the end of that. However, after she lost the baby (the baby that probably never existed), he came crawling back. He followed me everywhere...from LA to Paradise to Chico to Venice and all over random other places in the state for 2 years...begging me to marry him. Finally, in 1998, one of my boyfriends threatened to kill him if he ever bothered me again and he disappeared.

So, here I am, working and minding my own business in Chico California when, who should walk in but, Kelly. Now 30, living with his mother, and apparently no smarter than he was years ago. I couldn't stop myself. I had to see him. And, to my dismay, he looked exactly the same. Maybe even a little bit better. Still, I shot him this look that made it quite clear that he didn't want to say hi to me and continued about my business. So, here I am, standing at the front counter talking with one of my co-workers when he approaches, stares at us, and then asks if he could sit down. Thankfully, my co-worker said no, that he would have to wait somewhere else because we need to have the counter space available. So, he got up, walked outside, and then stood there staring in the window at us until he left. He has an appointment to come back on Friday. I almost can't wait. I think I am going to say something rude...just to get this over with once and for all.

Keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't follow me home and try to kill me...I am still kind of afraid of the guy.

Note: The most recent comment thing is, for some reason, broken. You can't make comments until I post above it. That is why I'm posting this.

Vette

Look, I took a test (emode.com is so much fun) and this is what it said (I am so cool):

Groovy, baby! Your aura is a bright, shiny Gold — which means you're a kid at heart with a happy, generous nature.

We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color — a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too — all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold.

I spent over 3 hours on the phone today and hated every minute of it...probably because, most of it, I was on hold. Yuck. I was trying to get something fixed on my new cell phone...and, apparently, I stumped every single person at sprint customer service. That must have been the case, because I got transferred to 11 different "specialists" and 2 supervisors...and, in the end, I am just going to end up getting a new phone tomorrow. Isn't that nifty?? Woo Hoo!!

I love being a bitch.

vette

I graduated from traffic school without getting a ticket!! I was so sure that I would get a ticket on my way home from traffic school or, even better, on my way to traffic school because I had to speed because I was running late. I wouldn't be late so much except that, lately, I'm always sleepy. This happens to me in the summer. It's as if I have a laziness gene that starts working when it gets above 75 degrees. The little voice in my head just starts screaming: Beach Weather! Beach Weather! You can't go to work - there's Beach Weather! And, since I'm hours inland from a decent beach, it just makes me want to nap. I could have good beach dreams forever.

I think I am going to get my nails done this weekend. I think they are going to be a pretty silvery blue with shadowy looking palm trees...that would be nifty. Maybe I'll do them in that seafoam green color (just the airbrushed trees of course) on an orange-ish sunset background. That would be cool too. Hmmm...the dilemma of having artistically inclined fingernails.

After work, Nevin, Jeff & I are going to the park. Fun Stuff, eh??

lates,
vette

So, I successfully made it through my first evening of traffic school...and I am quite sure that I will get a speeding ticket before the day is over. I need one of the new Cobra super radar detectors with the Statewide Safety Alert System installed on it. That would make me very happy. Who knows if it would actually reduce the chance that I would get a ticket, but I want one because it looks incredibly cool.

I am in the most super kind of mood today. Not sure why. Don't know what happened. Didn't even get some last night...just feeling super. Maybe it's because, in this horrible heatwave, I've got short hair and air conditioning in my car. :O) Or maybe it is that the clients I have encountered today have actually been friendly and polite and understanding when you have to tell them "no", not all rude and bitchy and evil, like usual. Maybe they appreciate the air conditioning in here, since it is triple digits outside. Or, maybe there's just something super going on with the universe (I'll have to get Andrea to advise me on this one) and the stars are making everyone feel peachy.

I can't wait until I get off of work so that I can go home and have a chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream sandwich. :O)

always,
vette

I have come to a conclusion. I want a dog. Have you seen the movie "Cats & Dogs"? I want a dog like that dog "Peek"...you know, the one who hangs out in that little tube under the trash can and radars the neighborhood. I liked his hair. I could totally make that dog look like Robert Smith (lead singer of the Cure, for those of you who are uninformed), and it wouldn't be a lame dorky poodle. Besides, now that I think about it, poodles have hair that is too curly to do anything cool with, not without a serious relaxing job. I wonder what Jeff would think if my dog had a big black mop, wore lipstick, and always had on a hockey jersey and a pair of reeboks...hmmm...

vette

So, I had this bright idea in March, right?? Me and my friends were all going to get together and have a naughty party (lingerie/toys) and drink Margaritas and be silly. What the hell was I thinking??

This whole even has turned into a world class nightmare. First off, half of the people that were supposed to be at the party didn't make it because they had the flu. So, a small group of us got together and just drank twice as many margaritas. Well, then, the girl who was giving the party, this psychobitch named Amy, got into a fight with her boyfriend. Needless to say, after getting smacked over the head with a roll of carpet, she arrived an hour late and not feeling very festive. She kind of half assed hosted the party and then left because her teeth were hurting too bad and she couldn't hang. So, we all got half drunk and went home.

One week later (we had to give our men time to rifle through the catalogs), we turned in our orders and paid this girl a whole lot of money. All of our slutty lingerie was supposed to arrive in 3-4 weeks. Well, those weeks came and passed and....nothing. Finally, on May 3rd, I get news that the shipment has come in. I thought, "Yay!! I finally get my shit!!". No such luck. Instead, that blonde bimbo dicked around until UPS returned everything to the company (did I mention that the company is based in Massachusetts??). So, the day that this happens, she decides to get into yet another fight with her man....and he breaks all of the windows out of her house and her car. So, she's all hysterical and then *poof* she disappears. No word for 2 weeks.

Well, those of you who know me know that I have no tolerance for this kind of stupid shit when I am trying to get something done. Okay, let's be honest, I have no tolerance for stupid shit period. So, as I am known for, I called the big cheese in Massachusetts. And, as usual, they were no help. Instead, they referred me to a smaller cheese in Sacramento - you know, Amy's direct boss. So, seeing as I was on the rampage anyway, I called her and left a nasty message and waited for her to call me back. What do you know, within a few days, I had all of my stuff....all of my stuff, that is, except for the free apology gifts that were supposed to be included. How rude.

So, once again, I had to call Amy (who had been fired by this point, but was required by her contract to finish dealing with me) to find out where all of my free gifts had been relocated. And, of course, they were in her boyfriend's truck and, of course, she didn't know where he was because, as usual, they had gotten into some kind of knock down drag out fight and he had taken off...this time, with her wallet, her cell phone, and her keys, leaving her virtually stranded and freaking out again.

Anyways, here is it, June 3rd and I have yet to receive all of my stuff and be able to cross this bubble headed monkey off of the list of people I would miss if they died.

Frustrated doesn't even begin to describe it.

Grrrrr.....
vette