Today, I certainly think that my life is better than yours...

I have a great man, a beautiful son, a good job, I'm still pretty (even if my butt is bigger than it used to be) and I don't have to worry about dating and all that crap. Everything I need is right here - and today, I actually feel very lucky. It's funny, because, sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on things....and then I think about it and Im like - FUCK THAT - MY LIFE ROCKS!! :O)
Just thought I'd share

Everyone who knows me knows two things about me - I am incredibly stubborn and, one way or another, I always get what I want. Jeff Taylor is the love of my life, and after 4 1/2 years of working to keep this relationship together, I am not going to get a move to Reno for some crappy job that is stressing him out ruin it. This relationship is the one thing in my life that I really want. I could care less about my job, and my car, and my prada purses....the fact is, I could live in the middle of nowhere with virtually nothing, and still be happy about the fact that I was there with Jeff. It took me a long time to come to this point - to come to this stage of appreciation for him and the fact that he is always here. The fact that he hasn't run away, no matter how bad things have gotten, speaks volumes in itself. Still, I need a break. I need space. I need to clear my head and destress and remember why I'm here and why I love him and give him the space to breathe enough that he can actually be the man I love. So complicated, yet so simple once you've thought about it long enough. Kind of makes a person feel stupid for not just seeing it all before.

praying, praying, praying, hoping, wishing, trusting....everything will work out right? Then why does it feel like it's not going to???

I'm trying to improve the frequency of my posting....just keep finding myself so darn busy. I guess maybe it's not even that I'm that busy, it's that Jeff is super busy so I haven't had a moment to myself all week. I mean, it's just me and nevin all the time. It's making me crazy.

Maybe the rest of what's making me crazy is Jeff's job. He's getting totally jerked around by all of the people that he works for and, the way things are going, he's either going to implode, quit his job, or piss someone off and get fired before this whole tributlation is over. This job is the very reason that we moved to Reno and it's the only thing that makes us wish that we hadn't come here (besides the air - we're all still getting nosebleeds on a fairly regular basis). The stress that work is putting on him (working 6-7 days a week, 12-15 hour days) has put so much stress on our relationship that I fear it may be ending soon.....just cuz I don't think that he is balancing both well and, if work takes much more out of him, he's just not going to have it to put into his home life. With that in mind, I am incredibly worried.

Oy.