Change, Now it's time for Change....
Goodness. I feel like I'm going through this major transition this year. Everything has changed... my whole life as I knew it.
As of this year I am:
A single mother who isn't receiving child support
Living in Nevada
Working somewhere that is NOT a government agency
I am having to make new friends, since I moved away from all of mine
I am not getting to see my family regularly
I have turned off my home phone, and live via cell
I've started drinking caffeine again
I smoke in the evenings...which I hadn't done since 1999
I'm drinking more often
I'm dating...and it's scary
If you read the archives, this is an absolute 180 degree turn from where I was. Some days I really like how it feels. Some days, it really kind of freaks me out and I just want everything to be how it used to be.
This is one of those days.
Nevin is sad. He wants his dad to come and visit. His dad has decided to go back to school and is bartending to make just enough money to get by and hasn't seen Nevin since Father's day. I honestly don't think that he will see him until Christmas if I don't get it in gear and take him down to Los Angeles. I want to go down there anyone, but I don't want to have to be the facilitator. It is not my responsibility to ensure that Jeff has a relationship with his son - it's Jeff's. And, for as much as I love him, I feel like I'm enabling him to be a bad dad if I keep putting the best foot forward for him.
I don't know how this whole single parent thing works...My parents have been married for 29 years, together for 33....this is just unfamiliar territory for me. And now I've got to make everything legal, and fill out custody paperwork and child support paperwork and I find it all very intimidating. Yeah, I think that's definitely the best word for it. One badly worded paragraph could mean volumes....and that's just overwhelming...but I can't afford a lawyer.
*sigh* Everything will be okay. I'm just going to sit here and sip on my mocha frappuccino and not worry....even though I could really use a cigarette...but I reserve that for night time.
As of this year I am:
A single mother who isn't receiving child support
Living in Nevada
Working somewhere that is NOT a government agency
I am having to make new friends, since I moved away from all of mine
I am not getting to see my family regularly
I have turned off my home phone, and live via cell
I've started drinking caffeine again
I smoke in the evenings...which I hadn't done since 1999
I'm drinking more often
I'm dating...and it's scary
If you read the archives, this is an absolute 180 degree turn from where I was. Some days I really like how it feels. Some days, it really kind of freaks me out and I just want everything to be how it used to be.
This is one of those days.
Nevin is sad. He wants his dad to come and visit. His dad has decided to go back to school and is bartending to make just enough money to get by and hasn't seen Nevin since Father's day. I honestly don't think that he will see him until Christmas if I don't get it in gear and take him down to Los Angeles. I want to go down there anyone, but I don't want to have to be the facilitator. It is not my responsibility to ensure that Jeff has a relationship with his son - it's Jeff's. And, for as much as I love him, I feel like I'm enabling him to be a bad dad if I keep putting the best foot forward for him.
I don't know how this whole single parent thing works...My parents have been married for 29 years, together for 33....this is just unfamiliar territory for me. And now I've got to make everything legal, and fill out custody paperwork and child support paperwork and I find it all very intimidating. Yeah, I think that's definitely the best word for it. One badly worded paragraph could mean volumes....and that's just overwhelming...but I can't afford a lawyer.
*sigh* Everything will be okay. I'm just going to sit here and sip on my mocha frappuccino and not worry....even though I could really use a cigarette...but I reserve that for night time.
direct from mrs. hamacek's brain at
9:13 AM
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