Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy....

If I could add the inflection to that title that I wanted, it wouldn't sound half as annoying as it looks. Promise.

So, really, this has been a week of epic proportions for me. I swear it. I'm in awe of all this week has presented to me - so it's time to write some stuff down!

The New Job: I did not know that it was possible for it to get better and better every day - but it does. The people are all helping me to get settled in and my boss told me that I am a "great fit" for the company and that she looks forward to working with me for a long time. Thank goodness. The initial anxiety is worn off and now it's time to show them what I can really do. :) I don't get to go on the internet much - as it's a government job, big brother is in the high command...and none of our internet usage is unmonitored, so I don't get to go on myspace or blogger, but I will be finding more time to put stuff up. PROMISE!

The New School: I had to take my son out of the school that he was in. Turns out that there was an ongoing issue with some other kids picking on him because his father wasn't around and so he started acting out in class....and the teacher was writing up reports, but just filing them and never showing them to me or having them signed. So, when he finally beat one of the kids down, they called me to discuss this "pattern" of which I had no knowledge. Then, come to find out, it's because that little boy was tormenting Nevin about how his dad doesn't love him because he never comes to pick him up (kids can be sooo cruel) and Nevin popped him. But did the other little boy get in trouble? And did the teacher bother to ask Nevin why he popped the kid? No...of course not...that would have been entirely too much work. So, they attempted to only reprimand Nevin...which I just couldn't support. And then, finding that these reports had been filed without my signature (which is in direct violation of Nevada State Licensing Regulations) I decided that my kid deserved better and pulled him out of school and put him in a new preschool...where he already has a new best friend. And, after just two days of not being at Children's World, he is happier than he has been in months.

The New Friend: So, a few weeks ago, I did a search on the internet for single mothers and I met this girl named Kyla. She absolutely rocks my socks. We have so many differences, and yet so many things in common - and we get along famously. I believe that I saw her every single day this week - whether it was just to hang out, or because she bailed me out and took care of Nevin, or because I had her son sleep over so he and Nevin could go to a party...I can just see that this friendship is going to work out remarkably well. She gets two thumbs up!

The New Favorite Holiday: Nevada Day ruled. My son and I had so much fun. We got up early to go check out his new school and meet his new teachers...and he made a ton of friends! So, then we went shopping for some decorations for the Halloween Party and some toys for he and his new best friend, Dalton. Then we went to McDonald's and ate and played in playland and it was soo fun. Do you know that he even sang "I Got You Babe" to me? My son is beyond darling. So, then we picked up Dalton and went to the pumpkin patch, followed by a search for art supplies so that the boys could paint their pumpkins. How much fun was that? Then we set up a tent for them and the two boys camped out in the living room. They fell asleep watching "short circuit". It was absolutely adorable.

The New Chapter: It's amazing how having so many new wonderful things in your life just turns the page to something better. My outlook is upbeat, my ponderings are hopeful and optomistic. I even correctly predicted the winners of all 6 of the college games that my friend Will and I bet on (although we lost the bet on account of being off on a point spread by 10 points - DOH!). Honestly, there are only two thing that could make life any better right now: a) meeting my soulmate and b) getting the heater fixed in my car. I think I'll just work on b. :)

I promise I will do more updating this week. SWEAR IT!

much love,
Yvette

Numerology is fascinating...

...and FUNNY!

Here's the numerology tidbit for anyone else who happens to have been born on January 10, 1978. Oh no, this isn't your everyday run of the mill birth number....no, no, no - this is your Passion Number. Woo. Funny stuff. Read on.

Your Hidden Passion Number is 5
You love travel, change, and new challenges. You are highly adaptable and versatile. You have a talent for languages, and are generally good with words. Writing, promotion, and public relations work suit you perfectly.

You are sensual and a bit impulsive. You love to satisfy your senses, which can get you into trouble. Overindulgence in food, drink, sex, and drugs are common among people with too many 5s -- six or more.

You are resourceful and original. You have a good sense of humor and a quick tongue.

Your desire for freedom is extremely strong and it will take effort and discipline to stick with whatever it is you started. There is a tendency to give up a project or situation prematurely.

You may be interested in too many things, which can make it hard for you to apply yourself to one area successfully.

You are very unconventional.

Commitment in relationships and your work is fundamental to your happiness. You may have a tendency to wander from person to person, job to job, making depth of relationship or deep expertise difficult.
*********************

You guys kind of know me. What'cha think?

#3 - and this one makes me SAD

Everyone who is everyone in British Music...and some Americans....have had a session with John Peel, famous BBC Radio 1 DJ. I remember the first time I heard the Peel Sessions - the Cure of Course, and then the Smiths, and Morrissey.... *sigh* and, now he is gone.

You will be greatly missed, John Peel. You can never be replaced.

RIP

It Rocks my Socks....It does!

The new job is absolutely fantabulous! Wonderful - Tiggeriffic, even!

The people are some of the nicest, most helpful, welcoming people I have EVER worked with. And the day I started, they made it feel like I'd been there forever. Everything had my name on it already - the org charts, memos, phone lists, even a nameplate & business cards at my desk. :) Very very cool.

Then I went home, in the best mood EVER and had a celebratory bottle of wine with Kyla and an 80's dance party. SWEET!

Yeah, I'm so happy, I'm tingly. I can barely feel my toes....oh wait, maybe that's cuz it's FREEZING outside....but the feeling is good, nonetheless.

Thanks for all your well wishes and positivity!!!
You guys rock!!

Much love
xoxox
Yvette

Freaking Out

Oh goodness - in two short hours I will be starting my new job.

I'm nervous. Way nervous. And my horoscope is making me more nervous. It says:

Capricorn
(tarot.com)
It's all coming together for you as long as you don't try to take credit for more than you've done. Don't worry about recognition; you'll get the accolades. And don't let yourself get sidetracked by diversions that have nothing to do with your goals. Just keep your eyes on the prize and don't let anyone distract you from the job you are doing. Karma is operating strongly now and you'll get exactly what you deserve.

*******************

Is someone going to try to distract me? Ack! And, sorry, but I won't really be on the internet today. Nope....not for a while. Not going to start abusing the system already. *sigh* But I will blog all about it when I get home.

always,
vette

If I do say so myself.

Yeah, the Awful Awful Burger is Awful Good! And the price? Only $3.50 for a 1/2 pound burger & a full pound of fries. Goodness! I'll buy you one if you think you can clear your plate! Oh yeah, and the atmosphere is very pleasant. The place is tiny, but there is a certain old school diner ambience that overcomes you when you are sitting on one of the little stools at the counter facing articles and awards and chatting sideways with your friends.

Good food. Good times. You must go the next time you are in Reno. Yup, it's official.

I'm slackin' today

Yup, still in my pajamas. WOO!
Here's the scoop for the Capricorns who are reading today:

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
It's time to expand your horizons. Get out there and join a group you've always wanted to be a part of. They'll undoubtedly welcome you, especially if you start today.

(tarot.com)
It may be necessary to drop what you are doing and to put someone else's agenda in front of yours. Another person might even present you with an emotional problem that doesn't seem to have an easy answer. Jump in and engage the feeling dimension, even if it isn't very practical. It may not all make sense, but you can be more helpful than you realize by just staying in the present moment.

***************************************************

Well, since I'm doing nothing today, it sounds like I am going to be following someone else's agenda. The only plan for today is going with David & Sarah for a much overdue Awful Awful Burger. I've never had one, and having lived here for almost a year and a half, I hear that I'm long overdue. I'd be perfectly happy with In-n-Out, but I guess I need to get accustomed to my new homeland. :)

I am loving on this video

Haven't put the link up on my Cure site yet - cuz I'm waiting to get links in different formats - but the alt.end video is up on Vh1 and it's SOOO good.

I swear, I dedicated this song to Jeff a while back when he brought up the subject of "us" ...and, really, all I wanted to talk about was child support. *sigh* You never know what you had until you've lost it, eh? Too bad I'm over it I guess....no more second chances.

Anyways, if you know the song, you know why that came up. And if you don't, well - freakin' watch it!

Click Here to go to the Cure page on Vh1.com and then Click on the Video. SWEET!!!!

The Cure Links are Up!!!

I have opted to put up a new blog dedicated to the cure, now that I am a member of their street team (woo!).

This, of course, means that I am going to have access to the newest and most interesting Cure news - ALWAYS - provided by our friends at Universal Music Group.

Click Here to Check it Out!

My son is amazing.

He is so musical, it's tripping me out. He memorizes lyrics like mommy, and beats them out on everything. He's so into playing the drums right now...and he has a natural rhythm that's kind of freaky. Yikes! And this morning I heard him singing while he was getting dressed....so I peeked in his room and there he was singing, word for word, the chorus of "This Love" by Maroon 5. Amazing, I tell you.

But he's even cuter when he sings along with the Postal Service. :)

Capricorn Stuff - other signs need not read

I mean, you can...but why? There's much more interesting stuff to read on here - PROMISE!

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
It will be quite tempting to take your friends shopping -- and to treat. Get hold of yourself, or at least resolve to shop only with those who won't take advantage of you. This, too, shall pass.

(tarot.com)
Your playing field is becoming increasingly interesting. It's apparent that more is going on than you previously thought. Even if you don't understand those around you, make an effort to be friendly with your associates. You stand to gain much from casual relationships now. Go out of your way to be a part of the group, rather than remaining outside, aloof and proud.
*************

Hmmm....two thoughts - one on each scope

1) I hope my friends are smart enough to know that I am incredibly broke and will not be taking any of them shopping any time soon. However, if any of YOU want to take ME shopping...well, that would be MUCH appreciated. :)

2) This is my last day at this job. Good thing I've stayed cool with everyone, cuz I hear one of them is a backstsabber extraordinaire....although I must admit, I'm not at all surprised.

This guy is a real weiner....I mean, uh, winner - yeah.

Do not take this guy home to meet your parents. He's not the brightest light on the tree....click the title to find out what he did in Court. This is just a classic. :)

freedom

I've moved on to a stage of my life where I'm getting ready to physically turn 27, but I'm kind of feeling 21. I have to go back that far, cuz those were my pre-motherhood days when I was a lot less tied down that I was for the last 5 years....or even than I am right now. I was very much the free spirit - living all over the great city of Los Angeles (Downtown, South Central, Granada Hills, Santa Monica, Venice, Encino, Koreatown), working by day, raving & clubbing by night, sleeping on Sundays.... and then I had Nevin and whisked off to a quieter life in Northern California to be the good mother and little miss suzie homemaker.

My life became very mundane and routine, waking up every day to the same man who only loved me half of the time, working a job that didn't make me happy, in a town where I just couldn't find what I was looking for...and then his job relocated us to Reno and the wheel of change was put in motion.

Now, just over a year later, I am a single woman with a beautiful child that I'm raising in Sparks, Nevada. Jeff has gone home to Los Angeles to pursue the almighty dollar and I'm here....and I'm remarkably happy and at peace with that. I start my new job at the County on Monday, so I'm now financially stable. I've got a cute apartment - two bedrooms, two bathrooms....but everything in it is mine. I bought it, I made it, I found it....it's kind of an accomplishing feeling. I've got a wonderful son who makes the sun shine even brighter. :) And I've got a renewed lust for life and adventurous spirit that had buried themselves long ago.

I guess I'm not really feeling 21 again, just feeling unbridaled again. This isn't to say that I wouldn't want to be dating some wonderful man who made me smile until my cheeks hurts....but I'm not looking for him. I kind of would like him to happen upon me.

Although, I must say that I have learned something recently. Matt was the first boy that I had ever dated who was a)younger than me and b)not my friend before we started dating. Sorry boys, but from here on out, I am reverting to my old habit of only dating my friends. There's significantly less by way of horrible surprises and, if things don't work out, it's so easy to go BACK to being friends....instead of trying to figure out how to be friends. *sigh* Yeah, I need someone to watch movies and cuddle with this winter.

Any volunteers? Just kidding.

Myspace Music

If you aren't a member of the myspace community, then you should be.

I am absolutely digging on their music setup - bands listed by genre, geography, and a variety of other ways for searching and listening to, with calendars for shows and what not. It's the best.

Here's my latest favorites
Deal by Dusk
The Local Division
Still Life Projector

Check them out, even if you don't join! And, if you click the title of this blog to join, it will automatically make you one of my friends. Yay!! :)

Disturbed.

I don't like reading things like this. Not at all. Only because I have a curious streak...and then read these things and end up pondering it's validity. *sigh* I'm sure today will be fabulous.

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
You may need to mend fences after something that happens today, and it might not be easy. That doesn't mean you should turn your back on someone you care for. Forget pride. Extend your hand.

(tarot.com)
This is a healing time for you, but you must become more aware of your role in the power struggles that are playing out around you. Unconscious thoughts and unresolved feelings spill into your outer world and are reflected back at you by significant others in your life. If you treat them as messengers from your hidden psyche, then you'll be able to learn an important lesson now.

Mmmm....smells like home

If you lived near the ocean, perhaps. If you live in the woods and it smells all fresh and naturey, perhaps. But I wouldn't wear perfume that smells like the subway....

There's a such thing as having an "adventurous spirit"....

....and then there's those people with death wishes. Much like David Blaine, I think this guy is super cool....but I also think that he's a bit insane. :) Still, who hasn't wanted to play spiderman???

Putting your best foot forward

You know, sometimes, as a friend, it's hard to be that unbiased listener.

I've been doing that for some people lately, trying to just listen and give advice from both sides of the fence and let them make their choices, but sometimes it's just hard. You just want to be like "what are you thinking?" or say things like "Just because I said that you could go this way or that way doesn't mean that you should go that way!" but I'm restraining myself.

You know, this trying to be a good friend and support someone no matter what decision they make is hard when your friend is making bad decisions....or when you realize that things are only half sinking in....or you realize that they are trying so hard to look at the good that they aren't noticing that they are neck deep in something bad. *sigh* But I'm taking a deep breath and accepting that this isn't my life to be lived and as much as you'd love to pull your friend from the quicksand, all you can do is make sure that they have the tools to pull themselves out, should they feel so inclined.

No horn locking going on here....

Um, this horoscope is apparently for other Capricorns....

(tarot.com)
You could be experiencing trouble as you lock horns with an authority figure at work or in a relationship. Or, it's possible that you might be the authority that is troubling someone else. Whichever way it works, there are walls of constraint that are in the way of forward progress. The problem is that you can't just think your way through this situation. You have to get even more serious and work hard to overcome this present blockage.

There are certain things you share....and certain things you don't

I've realized that I have a real issue with bathrooms. I mean, no one likes using public restrooms...but I don't even like sharing the bathroom in my home. I mean, that's why I have a master bedroom with a master bathroom....so I don't have to share. Is that so wrong?

My son is on this kick lately that he wants me to use his bathroom. And I suppose it makes sense for me to take the few steps from the living room to his bathroom, rather than walk through my bedroom through the vanity area to the bathroom. However, I just like MY bathroom. I mean, he's a boy - wouldn't that make the other bathroom the boys bathroom?? Okay....that's not what I meant to say at all.

For example, I had NO PROBLEM sharing my bathroom with Jeff for 5 years. None...except when he left his shaving stubble in the sink. ew. But, seriously, other than that, I was really good about sharing. Then we split up and he moved out....and a few months later, he moved back to Los Angeles and we stayed in Reno. When he came up to visit Nevin for Father's Day, I let him stay with us. He slept on the spare bed, and then got up in the morning to take a shower. I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, so I really wasn't paying much attention until Nevin had to use the bathroom - I told him to use mine cuz his daddy was in the shower. In response I heard "But mommy - daddy's in your bathroom!" And I suddenly had this sinking feeling.

He's a guest in MY house now - who told him that he could use MY bathroom? All I could think of was him using my loofah...which I had caught him doing in the past...and I was kind of grossed out. Honestly, one of his stray hairs left in my shower would have made me gag. And that's when I realized that the only people I like sharing my bathroom with are people I'm having sex with....and Nicci. Nicci can use my bathroom any time - but we're cool like that - she practically lived here for a while - and she's got a spare key - and she's Nevin's emergency contact...but this is another blog altogether.

Anyways, I need some opinions on this bathroom thing, cuz I'm starting to think that this is freakishly weird of me. I feel like I'm Howie Mandell who, in case you didn't know, is a serious germophobe. However, my irrational phobia is only in regards to showers and toilets.

Yup, this is weird.

Apparently, you have learned something funky about me today. Um...I'll try to think of something tomorrow that will make you forget all about this. :)

luvvums,
vette

Back in the swing of things....

**Disclaimer: I like horoscopes because I find them mildly amusing. Although, I must admit, some days I find them downright scary because they are so dead on. Today is one of those days.**

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
You'll undoubtedly be in the mood to straighten, organize and repair your most prized possessions tonight -- and maybe even during daylight hours. Well, why not? Sure, it's a work day, but even you get a day off every now and then.

(tarot.com)
This week, as many of your coworkers and friends are facing difficult resistance, you are using these very same difficulties as grist for your mill. Obstacles can actually add stability to your life, for they force you to focus your attention on what's important. You aren't in as much of a rush as others, so you are willing to work with the current blockages. Become your own authority and take control of what you can.

Lovely, lovely morning!

You know why? I can breathe again. I officially bow down to Red Clover Tea....it is the herb of the Gods. Yup, yup. Okay...that and the wine walk - I am sure that all the alcohol in the back of my throat did it some good too. haha

This weekend was awesome.

Saturday - started with the wine walk with a great group of people - and it was a blast! Then margaritas at Jen's and then a jam session at Ben's. :) Nevin got to play the drums and we discovered his natural rhythm. It was so awesome. I have to invest in some drums quickly - but I'm thinking of the pads, cuz they have volume control. haha Any drummers out there have advice about whether to go with the drum pads or a real drum set with just the pads on the heads to abosorb some of the sound? I don't know which is better in the long run for learning...since my dad just had an old kit in the garage....

Then Sunday we met up with a myspace friend to take the kids to see Shark Tale. Soooo cute. Then Marble Slab ice cream...mmmmm. Then Nevin took a nap and woke up in time for Pizza Hut, cuz all kids love pizza. And then he got to play with his new friend for a while before going home and zonking out.

Yes, happy days.

Okay, now that I'm well, I'm going to get back on track, dammit, so I'll be putting up horoscopes shortly. :)

always,
me

Check out This Song

It's the funniest thing I've ever heard....but pretty much describes life in Reno perfectly. Hmmm...perhaps that's why it's called Dude, Reno. Thanks to Love Songs on Music of Manville/ASSCRAP.

Saturday, lovely Saturday

Stuffy, yes - Dizzy and Achy, no.
Sounds like I'm all primed for the wine walk.

What the hell is a wine walk, you ask? Well, in Reno they have this little thing that they do on Saturdays in the Riverwalk art district. You pay $10 for a map and a commemorative Wine Glass. Then, you follow the map through all of these little shops and you get a different glass of wine at each merchant. And they have a raffle where people get to win prizes from the merchants as well. It sounds like a lot of fun, so I'm going....although I hear that, by the end of the walk, most people are pretty tipsy. I'm just going to eat lots of bread and stuff first so that I'm the most absorbent woman there. haha I do need to make sure that I'm in good enough shape to get Nevin and myself home.

I'm meeting some of the girls down there, so it should be tons of fun. I am definitely looking forward to it.

*sigh*
Okay - making more tea. I'm making sure I'm feeling extra healthy before I go.

much love,
Miss M.

I'm not good at being sick

I'm terribly whiny
and I want to go to bed
and my head hurts
and my nose is running

It's days like this that I miss having an other half more than anything.

To watch Nevin while I take a nap
and bring me hot soup
and rub my back, cuz I'm all achy

Somehow, it's just not the same to go home feeling icky and take care of someone else. I know a single mom's work is never done...but some days, I could just use that little bit of extra rest and the extra set of hands.

Instead, I will suck it up and go home and be super mom and make dinner and do laundry and take nevin to the park to play with Trevor and sit and sip tea with Mariah for a minute....and then I will go home and fall over in desperate need of sleep.

Yup, it'll be around 8:00. :o)

You guys know that I usually don't mind the superhero bit...but I'm just exhausted. I feel like I should crawl under my desk and take a nap like George Costanza used to and see if anyone notices. haha

Okay, I'm done venting. Back to my Red Clover tea....if you can call it tea. Tastes pretty much like I'm chewing on weeds. blech.

Thanks for listening to me bitch for a minute. I'm over it now.

vette

Blogger Don't Fail Me Now...

Is the publishing feature not working correctly today? That would really chap my hide. It sat there for like 5 minutes and stayed at 0%....infinitely frustrating - especially when I'm sick and in a rotten mood.

vette

gah

I'm a terrible blogger when I'm under the weather. The Cure links have not been put up, I have failed to put up horoscopes, and I'm just being a bore. blah.

The red clover tea had done me great good. But then I traded in the tea for a couple of optimator's last night and I am once again suffering. The woman who taught me of the benefit's of Red Clover Tea (this hippie woman named Lilly, in Venice who, by the way, had been married to Rockwell...back in the day) always told me that you had to stick with it for 3 full days. This is what I get for not listening...thus, I am starting over.

Does this mean that I will have to skip the wine walk tomorrow? That would SUCK! No, I will just drink tea before and after and all will be well.

*sigh*

Today the girls and I are going to get pizza for lunch. Truth be known, I just want a bowl of soup.

more later,
Yvette

And so with the popularity of Mrs. Vette go the hits on my blog....

*sigh*

It was kind of neat to see like 50 people a day coming to my blog. Granted, they were looking for porn but, nonetheless, the numbers were there.

Now I'm back to my faithful 20. You guys rock - and are probably significantly more interesting than all of the porn junkies that happened upon my site.

And if you are one of the people who searched for Mrs. Vette and found my site interesting enough to return to....well, Thanks!

**********

On a side note - I am really really going to start putting up the Cure links tonight. Going out of town and then returning and falling ill do not generally agree with working on the internet. Fact be known, Yvette was asleep on the couch last night around 7:30, woke up around 10:15 because my little one was ready for bed (such a good boy, letting mommy sleep when she's sick), checked my email and went to bed straight away.

You want to hear the sweetest thing ever? Nevin came and layed in my bed with me last night - and while I was falling asleep, he gave me a big hug and then just put one little tiny arm on my back and patted it and said that it would make me feel better....just like when I rub his back when he's sick. It was so adorable....and it did make me feel better. :)

Alright, I'm already late for showering....but more on account of making this Red Clover tea (ew) than anything else. This stuff is nasty but, yes, I AM drinking it for my health. I think that's one of the first times I've actually been able to say that. haha

top o' the mornin' to ya,
vette

Ewww....

Okay, so there was this boy on the net who was sweet and totally kept leaving me this remarkably poetic comments on my myspace profile...awww. He seemed nice enough, and lived in Sacramento, so I told him he should come out for the Death Cab show and everything seemed fine....and then he flipped. I jokingly referred to him as my "new internet stalker" and he lost his fucking head and was quitting myspace, blah blah blah. Then all of his pictures disappeared.

Want to know why?

Because they belong to someone else. I have since met the real boy on myspace to whom those pictures belong - his name is Pierre and he lives in England. A friend of his even sent me pictures of he and she together at her house in England.

I guess you just never know what you're going to find on the internet.

I would like to take this moment to reassure you that all of my pictures are actually of me - my real name is Yvette - I do have a son named Nevin - I really live in Sparks, NV and everything on this website is true.

Anyone who could create a big fake thing about themselves like that is a whack job.

Why's it all gotta be about work?

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
Still not satisfied with that perks package? Then there's no time like the present to bring that up to the folks in charge -- charmingly, of course. You can make a demand sound like a smooth, persuasive argument.

(tarot.com)
This eclipse in your 10th House of Career is pushing you to tie up loose ends of business today. Tomorrow starts a new cycle of work in the outer world for you. You may want to enjoy yourself, but reality is your taskmaster. You must do what is being asked of you, even if it means that your own satisfaction has to be temporarily set aside. Do the work now and have fun later.
********************

Perhaps the satisfaction that they are talking about would be curling up on the couch in my pajamas and sleeping cuz I'm sick....but instead, I am here, at work, cuz they need me and I need the money.

That is all the thought I can muster up right now.
blah.

Augh...Illness

I am so sick. I was fine last night, except that my throat was a little scratchy. Then, I wake up this morning....full on ill. I can barely swallow. Worst part is, since this is my 2nd to last week of temping, I can't call in sick or I won't get paid, and I totally need the money right now. *sigh* So, here I am, gargling warm water and sea salt and hoping to flush whatever this nastiness is from my system.

The worst part is, that I totally feel fine, my tonsils are just all swollen. This happens to me a couple of times a year and it usually takes a dose or two of penicillin to get it all taken care of. Gah. This sucks!! I am going to call a friend in SoCal who is a doctor and see if he can hook me up, cuz I so can't afford anymore prescriptions.

Or, if you know anyone I can see CHEAP (no health insurance) please, LET ME KNOW!

always,
Yvette

Some days being a single mom is harder than others

Ladies - this song is for you - black, white, mexican - no matter - I know it always gets me through the hard days...and today was one of them:

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots
I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, and don't nobody else care
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don't forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain't nuttin don't believe him
And if he can't learn to love you you should leave him
Cause sista you don't need him
And I ain't tryin to gas ya up, I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy (what's that)
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up

Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier
ooooo child things are gonna get brighter

Aiyyo, I remember Marvin Gaye, used to sing ta me
He had me feelin like black was tha thing to be
And suddenly tha ghetto didn't seem so tough
And though we had it rough, we always had enough
I huffed and puffed about my curfew and broke the rules
Ran with the local crew, and had a smoke or two
And I realize momma really paid the price
She nearly gave her life, to raise me right
And all I had ta give her was my pipe dream
Of how I'd rock the mic, and make it to tha bright screen
I'm tryin to make a dollar out of fifteen cents
It's hard to be legit and still pay tha rent
And in the end it seems I'm headin for tha pen
I try and find my friends, but they're blowin in the wind
Last night my brotha lost his whole family
It's gonna take the man in me to conquer this insanity
It seems tha rain'll never let up
I try to keep my head up, and still keep from gettin wet up
You know it's funny when it rains it pours
They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor
Say there ain't no hope for the youth and the truth is
it ain't no hope for tha future
And then they wonder why we crazy
I blame my mother, for turning my brother into a crack baby
We ain't meant to survive, cause it's a setup
And even though you're fed up
Huh, ya got to keep your head up

Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier
ooooo child things are gonna get brighter

And uhh To all the ladies havin babies on they own
I know it's kinda rough and you're feelin all alone
Daddy's long gone and he left you by ya lonesome
Thank the Lord for my kids, even if nobody else want em
Cause I think we can make it, in fact, I'm sure
And if you fall, stand tall and comeback for more
Cause ain't nuttin worse than when your son wants to know
why his daddy don't love him no mo'
You can't complain you was dealt this
hell of a hand without a man, feelin helpless
Because there's too many things for you to deal with
Dying inside, but outside you're looking fearless
While tears, is rollin down your cheeks
Ya steady hopin things don't fall down this week
Cause if it did, you couldn't take it
and don't blame me
I was given this world I didn't make it
And now my son's gettin older and older and cold
From havin the world on his shoulders
While the rich kids is drivin Benz
I'm still tryin to hold on to my survivin friends
And it's crazy, it seems it'll never let up,
but please... you got to keep your head up

Keep Ya Head Up - 2Pac Shakur

Song of the Day - 10/12/04

Someone dedicate this to me...please.

I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold

I want to take you far from the cynics int his town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will hear the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change, oOo oOo...
Brand New Colony - the Postal Service

People in Sparks are driving a little slower today

I saw an accident this morning that made my stomach turn. Two Semi's and an SUV on I-80 East. The front Semi hit his brakes....the back Semi didn't have time...and thus the SUV in the middle got lifted vertical and smashed between the two. Everyone in the SUV is reported to be dead - two people so far. You could see the jaws of life from our office window.

You know what made me feel even more nauseous? The fact that there were people parking their cars and walking up to the freeway to see what happened....like these people being pulled from the massive wreckage was a spectator sport. The DOT had to put up large black screens on either side of the wreck to stop people from staring...and to give the dead some solace and privacy.

It just makes you wonder why some people have to die like this? Why some people have that moment of unsurpassed fear where they know that they are about to die...and yet others get to pass peacefully in their sleep? What is it going to do to their family? I don't think it gets much worse than that, really. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. And how people could be so insensitive as to just want to catch a glimpse....pigs.

I haven't even eaten yet. I feel as though I may actually be sick.

A prayer of safety goes out to everyone I love.
always,
Yvette

My Irish side is peeking out

So, my aunt bought all of the girls in the family Claddagh rings. I think it's sweet. I'm wearing it on my left hand, heart out. Because my heart has already been worn by won....but is no longer kept. Someday, I'll be able to turn it over....someday.

WOWSER!

Here comes my OCD again....

So, site meter rocks...but I did find something interesting. Many of you are viewing my site less often, but reading a lot more than you used to. Yesterday, there were ranges between two pages and thirty pages....am I that interesting?

Regardless of whether you enjoy how I write or just find my psychosis bemusing or like to relish in my wit (I'm not really that full of myself - promise) - I just want you to know:

I am totally, utterly, amazingly flattered. Awe stricken even.

Much love,
as always,
Miss M.

Back to what I want...

I want a man who will take me out in this and he would wear this (yes, we would match)...and we would dance. I love dancing. *sigh*

Someday....soon....yes, please!

**The outfits are entirely optional...but give you an idea of how silly I can be**

Cosmic Intervention for the Morning

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
It would be easy for you to get whatever you want from your boss with just a wink and a smile, but that wouldn't be right -- would it? Hey, if you've done your duty and paid your dues -- start smiling.

(tarot.com)
It is time to execute your master plan as high stress pushes you forward. You are now ready to move from the realms of contemplation into the world of practicality where you get to make it happen. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your associates will support you in your efforts as they know that you are responsible and hardworking. Although they trust your ability to get the job done, they probably won't jump in unless invited.
************************************************

Okay...I'm inviting the whole world to help me get my job done. I am starting a fantastic new job in a few weeks...but that means two weeks without a paycheck...and that's going to hurt. So, anyone who wants to draft up a loan agreement for about $700 and lay out a payment plan with me, let me know.

hehe And I'll be winking all day. Some days, a smile and a wink is all the effort I really want to put forth.

smooches
vettums

I'm surrounded by hoardes of talented people

All of my friends are artists - amazing artists - and I could slaughter a stick figure. However, I know good art when I see it - and you should totally check out Barb's Blog because she's got some really great stuff on there (and there's some great reading too!). Bright colors that somehow manage to be peaceful - that's just amazing.

I have already beat you to the punch and am buying "I like it. Just do" from her (great name for a painting, isn't it?) but I think you should definitely peruse her stuff and, if you're interested, email her!

That being said, why haven't you clicked on her blog yet???

xoxox
vette

Up before the sun

This doesn't happen very often anymore.

This weekend of relaxation certainly did aid me in feeling alive again.

There is not a tired bone in my body. None. I was asleep by 10:30 last night. Those of you that know me are aware that this was the norm pre-Matt and his late night conversations. And then the stress of that whole weird relationship left me with serious insomnia....glad that's all out of my system.

Okay, so last night I had the most interesting of dreams. I was at the El Dorado in a really really nice room - REALLY NICE - we must have paid extra for that - with mirrored walls and palm trees and a lovely living room....yeah, they probably don't have anything like that at the El Dorado...but, anyway... It was me and my cousin (odd, I haven't talked to my cousin in like two years) and Nicci and Alisa and this boy who I only know from the internet...and even then, I don't know him that well. And we were all gambling and drinking and dancing and then I let said boy sleep on the couch in my suite.

What does this mean? I have no idea. I could take it to say something about the fact that I'm attracted to said boy but am still looking at it all from a distance cuz I don't really know him and, well, that would be true. I mean, yes, he's pretty - that would be why I initially clicked on his myspace profile. And he's friends with some of my friends, so I wouldn't even be that wary meeting him in person...but then I started reading - lots of things, his profile, his livejournal, random profile links that he has about himself and his beautiful children (his page is somewhat intense) and I find that I'm totally attracted to his mind - to the way he expresses himself, and looks at his own life with humor, and LOVES his children....and yet, we've hardly even spoken to each other....and he lives like an hour or so away from here. *sigh*

We will be doing some catching up when he gets back from vacation later this week, and I am looking forward to it. There's just something very awestriking about him that I want to get to know. Chances are, we will just end up good friends like me and every other good man I know. Seems I only end up dating guys who will vascillate over their feelings and do little for my sanity. However, I'm looking to break that habit - so if you know any intelligent men who believe that chivalry is NOT dead and are willing to drive through the snow on the weekends to come and see me in Sparks (if they don't already live here) then, by all means - INTRODUCE ME. Thanks.

I have decided that I would like to spend this winter feeling warm - inside and out - not like last year. You know, cuddling on a Friday night over a movie (even if it is Finding Nemo with Nevin) and waking up early to go skiing...yes, I prefer skiing to snowboarding...but I'll try anything in snow if you plie me with enough hot apple pies (the drink, of course). :o) And then hopping in my jacuzzi to warm up and come back inside where I cook incredibly fabulous dinners (not even joking - my cooking is now pretty impressive) and we spend more time nesting.

All these years and I find that I just want a man who wants to marry me. Is that really too much to ask? I was with Jeff for 5 years and he had the biggest, most ridiculous fear of marriage. I do plan to have a wedding one day - hopefully, before I'm 30 - which gives me just over 3 years to figure it out or buy my first cat. haha

Alright, time to get ready for work. These posts just go on and on lately, don't they? Shameful, I tell you.

Love you guys!
Yvette

Desperation finds it's way into a failing marriage

You must READ THIS. It's hilarious....but sad.

And here is #2

Famous people always die in threes - we know this. Yesterday was #2. Christopher Reeve.

Bye Superman.

Apartment available for rent or trade

Gah. My apartment maintenance men are idiots.

My thermostat wasn't working right, so my air wasn't clicking on but the heater was still working. They came out last Thursday and fixed the air. Hence, my heater no longer works.

Okay, that's a lie. My heater turns on and will work all day - BECAUSE IT WON'T TURN OFF!!!! So, I can run it for a thousand hours and heat the whole neighborhood or I can suck it up all night when it's 50 something degrees in my house.

So, this morning, when I left for work, it was still running. The maintenance guy said he went out and fixed it. I went home, I turned it on....it didn't turn off. So, back to the rental office I go to complain some more. I swear, they hate me so much these days, they don't fix things on purpose.

*sigh* This squeaky wheel thing always worked for me...but this time, it is DEFINITELY backfiring.

I'm going to finish this work day and then go home and rearrange some furniture to make myself feel better.

always,
Yvette

October 11th, already???

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
A very pleasant encounter is on the agenda -- very nice indeed. Basically, you'll be enjoying the astrological equivalent of a nice, warm hug. Why not spend the day putting this energy to its best use?

(tarot.com)
You Goats typically do your job and do it well, but today you might not be quite sure why you are working. You are more concerned about your long range goals than what is happening now, and this could be a problem. Even if there is a situation that requires your attention, let someone else handle it for a change. Don't be too harsh in your self-judgment.

*****************************
Yeah, I've got short timers syndrome at work. Bad. But, really, I don't feel like doing anything but collecting a paycheck right now. *sigh* New job - October 25th, 2004. Yay!!!

Oh yes, and could someone please give me this nice warm hug today? I'm really in the mood. That and I am starting to get lonely. Not friend lonely - other half lonely. Just when you think you've found someone who you'll be able to connect like that with for a while, they go and do something to make you walk away. *sigh* I guess it's cuz it was the first time I had been that giddy happy with someone since sometime in early 2003....before Reno. I don't miss him, but I do miss the connection. Those are rare.

Have an internet crush - I do. But, well, we'll have to wait and see where that goes. It's still small and unimaginable - but I DO know his last name. :o) That's always a step in the right direction....I suppose.

When going home doesn't feel like going home anymore....

This weekend left me with much pondering to do on the quiet drive home. I went home - but it wasn't like going home anymore. Things are so different...and yet, so very much the same...and it left me in absolute wonderment.

The town...changing...growing...turning into someplace I hardly recognize, and yet still know with my eyes closed....in an eerie way that I don't understand. My home...not the same. Not the same at all. My parents are midway through packing to move into a new home. A bunch of old things are gone...things are kept in different places...new furnishings. I certainly felt like a guest, not someone who had lived in that house for 16 years. Wow. Not what I was expecting.

Don't get me wrong, the weekend was wonderful. I got to visit with mom and dad and my lil sis, and just relax and let the whole world wash away for a couple of days. Ending, of course, with Dad & I's traditional Sunday morning blow out before I go. A real knock down dragout. This morning was different though. I felt like there was really nothing he could be saying - nothing else that he could lecture me for.

Yes, my life didn't go according to his plan. I never intended to be a degreeless 26 year old single mother living in Nevada. In fact, 8 years ago I was well headed towards being a degree holding executive. However, things change....as do plans. And, thus, here I am.

In the last 5 years, I have completely turned my life around. I went from being an honors student to a gangbanging drug dealer, to a raving drug dealer, to just a raver and club promoter....to a mother, to an incredibly sober government employee, and a freshly single woman on the road to success. I took all of the mistakes that I had made and I learned from them. How many people actually do that?

If anything, my dad should be proud of the fact that he taught me enough to know that he gave me the skills to be able to turn my life around like that. That he gave me the strength to be the woman that I am now. And that, degree or no degree, I am a woman who is taking care of business for her and her 4 year old son...and my smarts are making me about $40k a year. Not what I should be making, but not bad for 26.

Today, for the first time ever, driving into Nevada felt like coming home.

Thank you, so very much, to the people who make it feel that way. I am sure that you know who you are. I love you. I truly do.

Now, I'm going to have a beer and watch the Surreal Life and laugh for a minute before I go to bed and get ready for work in the morning.

Some days, life feels so nice, you just have to revel in it for a moment.

My love always,
Yvette B. McMillen

Easy like Sunday Morning

That's how my weekend will be.
Leaving after work.
Driving to Paradise, CA.
Beautiful land of trees and fresh air.
A nice long drive to clear the mind.
Up 395 and then down 70, along the Feather River Canyon.
And, then, on Sunday, down 70 to the 65 to 80 over the pass back into Nevada.
I like to go full circle whenever I head up for a visit.
Although, perhaps, I will have to make a detour through fairytale town on Sunday morning. That would be nice. Or maybe just stop off in Roseville at the Galleria...

Oh wait...that would require something besides a gas card.

Anyways, won't be blogging much this weekend.
Cure Links will be up Monday Night!!!
Can you tell how stoked I am?

Have a wonderful weekend and, as always, email me if you miss me. :o)

Much love,
Yvette

No more yanky my wanky

For reals, every time I write a decent length message to someone, myspace crashes when I hit send and then I just get a maintenance screen and pacman. Where did my message go? You hit the back button and the screen is blank again - fuckers.

gah.

Horoscopes for a Friday Morning

Capricorn
(astrology.com)
Be ready to perform both on and off the job -- literally speaking. Someone will be drawn to your discipline and sense of responsibility, but they'll stay for the show. Oh, go ahead. You know you want to.

(tarot.com)
You may get yourself confused by the unexpected depth of your feelings. Normally, you'd tend to shy away from the emotional side of things, but now -- for some reason -- it feels safe. One reason why it seems less threatening is that the intense feelings aren't as deep as they seem. You won't have much of a problem hoisting some long lost feelings up from the bottom of the well. But if you let the buried feelings stay stagnant, surely they will surface on their own and cause a great stink.

***********************************
Long lost feelings? I've definitely got some of those....just things that I try not to feel anymore. Hmmm...maybe a revisit would be nice.

Oh yes, and I'm a performer by nature. That just can't be helped.

Because Everybody needs Korn

Is it just me, or did they rock the 90's? They did - they did. At least in SoCal they did. Anyways, tickets go on sale for their Sacramento show tomorrow - and I HAVE NO MONEY.

I hate it when I have to miss good shows.

In other reflective news, Cake goes on sale this weekend too for their show 11/19 in San Francisco. I don't care what anyone says - cake Rocks. They're going the distance!

Okay, I'm going to get ready for work now.

I haven't gotten my horoscope yet, or I'd make all of you read it. haha :o)

I love you guys!

Yvette

By the way

Thank all of you SOOO much for all of the well wishes and congratulations on the new job. :o) I am incredibly appreciative of all the support that I get from you guys....most of whom I don't even know, except by your screen name.

You Guys Rock my Socks!!!!


Thanks again!

my love always,
Yvette