If absence makes the heart grow fonder.....

Then y'all should LOVE me by now.

I know, I've been terrible about updating but I have to give credit where credit is due - Adriana wins. My absence from the internet DOES mean that I'm having a rather eventful and fulfilling real life right now. :) Hooray! However, for the benefit of your eyes and my fingers, I am going to have to give you the Reader's Digest condensed version:

Nevin: Wonderful. He's been being watched by this woman he calls "Grandma Bev" for about a month now, and he is absolutely thriving there. They do workbooks in the daytime and he plays with the neighborhood kids in the afternoon and it really gives him a good sense of being. I am SOOOO happy. He is still having his rather melancholy moments, mostly due to the fact that his father flaked on his visit this month, but all in all he is moving up the happiness scale. It makes my heart feel lighter just knowing that he is regaining his security. Yay!

Work: For a minute, I thought that it wasn't going to work out...but then I readjusted my viewpoint and checked my ego at the door and now things are working out beautifully. Just like anywhere, there are people that you trust and people that you don't...and you just have to make the best of the situation until something better comes along. I feel like my boss and I have bonded a little, which is good, but I must admit that I often feel like she's too busy analyzing me to really get to know me.

Boys: Yup, there's still just one - and he's amazing and makes me light up when he says my name. I still harbor some concerns, but it is more my own insecurities than anything else. I mean, I was with Jeff for over 5 years, but it's taken me a long time to accept the fact that we aren't going to work it out. He and his ex were together for a lot longer..and from what I understand, they were the picture perfect family...that is, until she started cheating on him. And I know that you get over someone a lot quicker when they do something terrible like that to you. However, I do wonder whether or not he has the capacity to fall in love with someone else with the same reckless abandon in which he fell in love with her. I guess I am just intimidated by it because I can't fathom spending half of your life with someone and then having them break you to pieces like that. I can't fathom it ever feeling any better....and I can't fathom making yourself vulnerable to someone else less than a year later. Then again, contrary to how most people see me, I'm rather delicate...at least when it comes to matter of the heart. Regardless, right now, I'm deliriously happy, and it's making all the difference.

Speaking of Jeff: I was so proud of him for about two weeks...he came and saw Nevin, he was working, he paid his child support....and now he's back to schlepping around LA waiting for something fabulous to be handed to him. I'm glad I won't be there the day that he realizes that it's not going to happen - it could very well kill him. He's quit paying child support, he's not working, he's dropped half of his classes. *sigh* A beautiful person who has wasted his life creating a multitude of "what if's" in his head. I guess fear of commitment can be infinitely more detrimental than I ever considered it to be....at least, when it begins to affect your whole life.

So, tonight, there's a barbecue where the few good friends who haven't met Paul yet will. And then tomorrow we are going to Harrah's Tahoe for dinner and then to "Dragapella!" the musical. Hooray! Then back to the grind for a few days before my mom comes to visit the 4th & 5th and then I go with the girls to see modest mouse on the 6th. yes, things are definitely looking up.

Well, I'm going to go now. I leave you with my current CD rotation...something to think about:

interpol - antics
the killers - hot fuss
snow patrol - final straw
modest mouse - the moon & antarctica
green day - american idiot
the postal service - give up
bright eyes - digital ash in a digital urn
bright eyes - i'm wide awake, it's morning
and i'm anxiously awaiting the new release of the bravery. Yay!

Much love,
as always,
miss m

woo hoo!

Guess I just had to say that.

Sorry I've been so absent - but, adriana was right, I've been enjoying a rather wonderful real life which has left me little time for blogging - I can't even seem to find time to do it at work....which is good, cuz then they'd read my blog anyway. Did you see all of these articles about people getting fired over their blogs? Good thing I don't rant about work on here. Woo - that would be a nightmare.

So, this relationship that I seem to have embarked upon is working out beautifully. I know I had my concerns, but they are all being thrown to the wayside one by one. Perhaps the night that he came over and put up with me and Kyla and our 3 kids while we watched a Brak marathon (which, of course, involves sing-a-longs) reassured me that, just because he's older doesn't mean that he's going to be annoyed by my inner 12-year old. haha On top of that - he seriously treats me well. To the point that you could definitely call me spoiled. I have always been annoyed by men who treated me that way, but when he does it, it just feels perfect. I guess that's a good sign. Yes, I am absolutely falling....but I'm going to avoid the "L" word for a while longer. Perhaps that's a side effect of having been so hurt in the past... the fact that I'm falling scares the living hell out of me. But I'm sure that everything will work out exactly as it was intended.

Nevin is doing wonderful - still. We've been spending a lot of quality time together, hanging out with all of my friends who have children. To all my single friends: sorry if I've skipped out on you to watch cartoons or go to chuck e. cheese, but some things in life are just too important to put off. His dad has been really good about calling him and keeping in contact. Working and paying child support? Well, he's still not so good at that but he's trying. Our conversations have maintained a peaceful tone since Christmas...except when the issue of money comes up. :) But, soon enough, that will all be resolved as well.

So, the next few months are going to be quite busy with shows. This weekend we're going to see "Dragapella" the musical, at Harrah's Lake Tahoe. Then, on 3/6 we're going to see Modest Mouse...NIN is a couple of weeks later...then we're going to San Fran to see Hollywood endings...and then we're coming back to go and see Hall & Oates (some flashbacks are too fun to miss) and then comes Coachella...and somewhere in there is a Still Life Projector show (they're rescheduling their reno appearance). Life just gets better and better.

Love you all & this time I promise to be more diligent. And if there's not another post by Monday, you have my permission to mail bomb me, kay?

always,
vette
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Update: I'm a dork. I apparently can't read a calendar and Dragapella is on the 27th, so this weekend it's a dinner and show package at Harrah's Reno featuring a night at the Improv. Yay!!! Comedy...i could always use some comedy.

yowsa

I've been so busy. Work, being sick, taking care of kids, dating.....! It's all making me quite tired, actually. How is everyone? I feel like I've really got nothing new and exciting to say right now. I'm having one of those moments where I feel boring. Dating the same wonderful man, but having my doubts....sometimes, I think that the age gap could be a problem in the future. I mean, I'd never ask him to heat stroke it with me at Coachella or go climb into the pit with me at Modest Mouse. And, being that I'm such an audiophile, those opportunities to put your arms around me while I'm totally entranced...well, those are times that, if I was going to fall in love with you, it would push me over. *sigh* By the same token, I don't want to stop seeing him because of fear. I guess I've got a lot of thinking to do. A lot.

The snow is finally melting. Thank goodness - it's been here for weeks! But the sweltering 42 degree weather we've been having is making it look kind of pretty outside. It's going to be a very green spring. I can feel it....my allergies are kicking in already.

Talked to an old friend last night. It was wonderful. I forgot how much I missed him and that I've had a crush on him since I was 19. Yipes. It worries me to think what could happen if we were to hang out together. As I told him last year, I think we have some unfinished business to take care of. hahaha

Crap, I need to leave for work in a few minutes. Poopy. Talk to all of you later!

Apologies for not being more exciting these days....looks like I'm really just settling into motherhood....I swear, there's always at least 3 kids up in my house. I'm turning into such the soccer mom.

my love always,
miss m