Update for 2006 thus far
Milestones, I tell you. Milestones. This is the year where it all becomes clear. I can feel it and I like it more than I can express.
Jeff called Nevin. The very day before Nevin had counseling. While my car was broken down. It was like some kind of cosmic intervention. My car broke down right after I answered the phone and started running right before I hung up. I guess the universe wanted me to take the time to listen to him - so I did. I guess the important thing I learned from Jeff is to keep my expectations realistic. It's like that Gin Blossoms song "Hey Jealousy" where they say If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down. Thank you, life, for teaching me to be more realistic in my expectations of people. They will give you what they will and nothing more.
Counseling is going well. Nevin gets a lot of stuff out. Unfortunately, I leave the office feeling like I just got ran over. Why? Because it just breaks my heart to hear that he's been holding so much in. To know exactly how this whole situation has left him feeling deep inside that innocent little heart of his has been really hard for me. I leave on the verge of tears, feeling empty and listless. Looks like I may need some counseling to deal with the counseling.... But, as my dad said it best, at least Nev is getting the help that he needs so that this won't effect him permanently. He's learning young how to cope and deal with things that hurt him. He'll be a pro by high school.
I have met a new man that I absolutely adore. Twitterpated is the most accurate description that I can come up with. He's smart and funny and gorgeous and the chemistry between us is just amazing. I can just sit and tell stories with him or play board games with him or make out with him or talk to him on the phone half asleep at 3:30 in the morning and....whatever it is....it makes me smile. Always. It's been a long freakin' time since I actually enjoyed someone's company this much. And, honestly, just to get to the point that we can tell people we are seeing each other, we had to go through A LOT of drama - both at work and in our personal lives. So, here we are, nearly a month later, and all is well. It was worth every second of the b.s. and now I can't help but wonder where things may head for us. Whatever path we are meant to take, I welcome it. I'm sure I'll make the walk smiling....even if we just end up good friends. Although, honestly, I'm hoping that isn't the case.
I'm still working two jobs. I'm still thriving at both. Life has it's ups and downs but, these days, I'm just feeling pretty damned lucky. To be alive. To have such good friends. To have such a wonderful family. To have people in the community offering support to Nevin and I in a tough time. To have a roof over my head. To be loved. To be appreciated. To be me. I may not be everything I ever dreamed I would be, but I'm too happy to have any regrets.
2006, I love you.
Jeff called Nevin. The very day before Nevin had counseling. While my car was broken down. It was like some kind of cosmic intervention. My car broke down right after I answered the phone and started running right before I hung up. I guess the universe wanted me to take the time to listen to him - so I did. I guess the important thing I learned from Jeff is to keep my expectations realistic. It's like that Gin Blossoms song "Hey Jealousy" where they say If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down. Thank you, life, for teaching me to be more realistic in my expectations of people. They will give you what they will and nothing more.
Counseling is going well. Nevin gets a lot of stuff out. Unfortunately, I leave the office feeling like I just got ran over. Why? Because it just breaks my heart to hear that he's been holding so much in. To know exactly how this whole situation has left him feeling deep inside that innocent little heart of his has been really hard for me. I leave on the verge of tears, feeling empty and listless. Looks like I may need some counseling to deal with the counseling.... But, as my dad said it best, at least Nev is getting the help that he needs so that this won't effect him permanently. He's learning young how to cope and deal with things that hurt him. He'll be a pro by high school.
I have met a new man that I absolutely adore. Twitterpated is the most accurate description that I can come up with. He's smart and funny and gorgeous and the chemistry between us is just amazing. I can just sit and tell stories with him or play board games with him or make out with him or talk to him on the phone half asleep at 3:30 in the morning and....whatever it is....it makes me smile. Always. It's been a long freakin' time since I actually enjoyed someone's company this much. And, honestly, just to get to the point that we can tell people we are seeing each other, we had to go through A LOT of drama - both at work and in our personal lives. So, here we are, nearly a month later, and all is well. It was worth every second of the b.s. and now I can't help but wonder where things may head for us. Whatever path we are meant to take, I welcome it. I'm sure I'll make the walk smiling....even if we just end up good friends. Although, honestly, I'm hoping that isn't the case.
I'm still working two jobs. I'm still thriving at both. Life has it's ups and downs but, these days, I'm just feeling pretty damned lucky. To be alive. To have such good friends. To have such a wonderful family. To have people in the community offering support to Nevin and I in a tough time. To have a roof over my head. To be loved. To be appreciated. To be me. I may not be everything I ever dreamed I would be, but I'm too happy to have any regrets.
2006, I love you.
direct from mrs. hamacek's brain at
10:02 AM
1 thoughts
